Right Now

What’s NOW? It’s everything, from the beginning to the end, the Alpha to the Omega. That never ending trend of crashing crest to depths we owe nothing. The NOW we spend. Before the NOW there is nothing saved and after the NOW it can’t be … Continue reading Right Now


Knowing the wave I am on.
Knowing what I like and dislike about a certain wave and why.
Knowing there will be days and nights of nothing but calm. No waves, not a ripple. Those times are for floating.
Knowing days after calm come the swells. They build slowly under the surface. Pressure of depression some say it is. Myself in these times become more aware for there must be a storm brewing. I constantly check temperatures and pressures cause somewhere sometime these things are going to collide. When they do, I can choose to hunker down and ride it out in safety or grab my board and start swimming.
Either way there will be fear, terror, pain and moments not meant for the faint at heart but meant for building my character. Many years the biggest baddest waves came from storms I brewed myself. It took a long time to master those type waves. To learn to ride them for what they where and not what I wanted them to be. Soon enough I began to learn all the types of waves. Success, failure, honor, virtue, style and finesse. All the waves of life. Birth, death, union, dissagreement , separation, lies, deceit, betrayel, truth, pain, joy, enchainment, broken hearts and broken dreams. All are the waves of life we all either ride or hide from.

Lies and the human condition

Lies are camouflage for self confidence. Confident people don’t need to lie to get what they want and confident people are ok with other people having different views. Liars don’t believe in themselves so the truth is a variable knob of self destruction that is turned on trying to convince others of a truth that doesn’t exist. When the truth of the lie is discovered then the knob is turned to blaming others for the liars self destruction aka victimhood.

That one that waits alone

When you wait alone it takes longer.

Longer for anything to belong.

Belonging to someone is worth waiting for.

Selling ones self out is nothing but being alone with another.

To be authentic is a very brave thing to do.

To be alone is the only authentic you one can have.

To be authentic with with another is the only beginning you will ever need.


“Stand up son! Just stand up!”



My Dad

My Father

My friend

He stood up

While others slept

He stood up

When there was wrong done

He stood up

When others wouldn’t fight

He stood up

When others wouldn’t love

He stood up

When no one cared

He stood up

When all faith was gone

He stood up

When life knocked him down

He stood up again

When I needed him

He stood up

Till the end

My dad stood up

A Gentlemen if there ever was.

Which of us today can say

When it’s our turn and the proverbially shit hits the fan.

What we would do?


I can hear him now.

“Stand up son, Just Stand up. ”


Fennigan Tyler Spencer

Son of Stephen Keith Spencer



Between the truths

There’s light and dark, those are the only truths of this world. in between these two truths is the shadow. We live in the shadow, (reality) and everyone is their own. casted by light or dark at all times conflicted internally on which way to cast , but will always cast in the direction of ones true nature.


Ain’t it Fenn

Lemons in the basement oranges in the sky Dollars cant face it Diamonds dont know why Truth is for beggars Comedy for hecklers Snakes in the gra’s Pigs in zen Heaven aint it ? Fenn